Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Elgin Men's Christian Revivalist American Militia


As First Supreme Commander of the Elgin Men's Christian Revivalist American Militia, I'd like to announce this year's membership drive. If you are a God-fearing man who believes we need to be ready to take back America from the Socialists who are trying to bring One World Government and worse, raise our taxes, and if you believe that Godless Lieberals are brainwashing our children to be homosexuals and will take away our guns, then EMCRAM is for you. You need to be a patriot, love Jesus and know how to use a gun. You will need to know how to read also so you can fill out the form. We meet on Saturdays. I usually bring the beer and my assistant, Second Supreme Commander Elrod Klempschmidt brings the sandwiches. Klempschmidt's a good man and his wife makes good sandwiches. American sandwiches with American cheese. No French bread or stuff like that. Since the Obama Nightmare began we've seen membership go up 50%. So there's 3 of us now, me, Elrod and Fremont, although he can only make it every other week due to having to take his kids from his ex-wife. They got divorced last year after the DUI thing. Fremont says it was a government setup and I tend to believe him, he being a good Christian and all. Anyway, if you'd like to join up just send me an email and I'll send you the form. It's only 3 pages. Remember you MUST be a Christian, a Man and an American, in that order and also be prepared to fight for your country, at least on the weekends. God Bless America.

3 comments:

Elrod Klempschmidt said...

Eustace, I won't be able to make it to the meeting this week I think I have Swine Flu. The wife didn't cook the pork chops all the way through. Again.

Anonymous said...

Formal notice: You have been flagged as a hate group in accordance with Federal Regulation Chapter 6, section 3, addenum 2.

Anonymous said...

haha only 3 lmao what a group of sorry cock sucking homos well only on the weekends. remember kids sucking cock only makes you half gay and half woman. drop outs