If you've ever had an alien encounter like me (the Space kind , not the Mexican kind) you'll be interested in the Christian Ministry called The Alien Resistance. They're a group of experts that say those aliens are really the evil spirits from the Bible. These guys are smart guys, some of whom have PHDs, which I guess stands for Professors of Higher Dimensions. They said in a statement that, "the sinful behaviors of the 'aliens' behind abductions, the false gospels and new age messages they proclaim, and their supernatural powers so very reminiscent of those described in the Bible as being had by angels, all adds up to make clear that 'aliens' are in fact the evil spirits of the Bible" and that makes sense considering what happened to me once. As a young man I'd go on Christian Retreats with our Church's youth group. One time I was sleeping in my tent and the aliens came. All I remember is a bright light, then the Youth Pastor calling my name and telling me to be quiet, and then that probe, which hurt like heck, at least at first.They kept pushing it in and out. I don't know what they was measuring. In the morning Pastor said he didn't remember anything so they must have erased his memory. And they must have put a tracking device in me because they found me again on the next Christian Retreat. Anyhow that's how I know that they are really Alien Satanic Sodomites, or A.S.S.- Men for short. Now these A.S.S.-Men are probably here as a sign of the endtimes, but what ain't a sign of the endtimes these days? Well Jesus will be taking care of them soon because He don't tolerate such goings on, fancy space ships or no.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Jesus vs. the Aliens
If you've ever had an alien encounter like me (the Space kind , not the Mexican kind) you'll be interested in the Christian Ministry called The Alien Resistance. They're a group of experts that say those aliens are really the evil spirits from the Bible. These guys are smart guys, some of whom have PHDs, which I guess stands for Professors of Higher Dimensions. They said in a statement that, "the sinful behaviors of the 'aliens' behind abductions, the false gospels and new age messages they proclaim, and their supernatural powers so very reminiscent of those described in the Bible as being had by angels, all adds up to make clear that 'aliens' are in fact the evil spirits of the Bible" and that makes sense considering what happened to me once. As a young man I'd go on Christian Retreats with our Church's youth group. One time I was sleeping in my tent and the aliens came. All I remember is a bright light, then the Youth Pastor calling my name and telling me to be quiet, and then that probe, which hurt like heck, at least at first.They kept pushing it in and out. I don't know what they was measuring. In the morning Pastor said he didn't remember anything so they must have erased his memory. And they must have put a tracking device in me because they found me again on the next Christian Retreat. Anyhow that's how I know that they are really Alien Satanic Sodomites, or A.S.S.- Men for short. Now these A.S.S.-Men are probably here as a sign of the endtimes, but what ain't a sign of the endtimes these days? Well Jesus will be taking care of them soon because He don't tolerate such goings on, fancy space ships or no.
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2 comments:
I don't know whether your serious or not. We need to get rid of the aliens, though. Send them all back to Mexico and stop them from stealing our jobs and getting free healthcare. FACT: Illegal immigrants cost our government over 5 billion dollars a year!
I don't think either of you are serious. Or are Americans really that stupid?
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